Showing posts with label sexy new guy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label sexy new guy. Show all posts
Quick April Wrap Up
Well. This bank holiday weekend
has just been brill and marv. There are no words to express quite how much I love
it when the sun is shining.
However, I am not here to talk
about that today. I am here to talk about April.
Quick March Wrap-Up
March. We’re a quarter of the way into 2018 and so far I
don’t love it.
I absolutely definitely spoke too soon back in January when
I was all YEAH 2018 because let me tell you a thing – so far this year has sucked. Still, it does not do to dwell
on these things does it, and in amongst the days when I just wanted to curl up
in bed and cuddle and pretend life wasn’t happening, I still squeezed in a fair
amount of smile-worthy adventures.
On Beauty. Take Two.
Yesterday morning whilst I sat on the sofa
drinking coffee in his hoody, my main squeeze wandered around the house in
jeans and bare feet and I realised, from nowhere, that he had never looked more
perfect to me. I don't even like feet.
It was weird,
how just that sight of him, bare footed and laughing in the living room,
warming his feet over the roaring flames of the fire, gave me the absolute warm
fuzzies. It was nothing special, and certainly nothing intimate and yet there was
a strange sort of intimacy, a sort of vulnerability almost that I don’t
know quite how to explain.
In which I Do The Thing
Recently, blogosphere, I have been kissing a guy (and I’ve
been liking it.)
I know, right.
Gulp.
We’ll call him Sexy New Guy for now, as I don’t wish to
reveal his identity just yet and he’s somebody I’ve known for a while and he’s
funny and clever and has a smile that reminds me of Indiana Jones and he’s just
all around excellent and it’s just generally a very nice time.
It’s weird really, because if you’d have told me this time
last year that by Christmas I’d be puckering up for a guy that wasn’t The Ex
Boyfriend then probably I would have laughed in your face, and yet, here we
are.
Maybe people will think it’s too soon, and maybe people will
think it’s not soon enough, personally I think it’s been almost a freaking year
good gracious and that really there are much worse things I could be doing than
kissing a guy who makes my tummy do the flippy thing.
And Sexy New Guy is lovely, and
you want to know another thing: it was surprisingly easy. Falling into being
with somebody again, into being with him was so so easy.
I think that’s always the thing isn’t
it, putting yourself back out there is hard and scary and there’s this niggling
voice in the back of your mind that’s whispering ‘you’re not
pretty/funny/interesting enough’ and it would be so easy to just sort of stay
indoors with a good book and Netflix forever. Especially when there are so many
episodes of Pretty Little Liars to watch.
But then I remembered a conversation
I’d had with Jen months ago, which was in no way related to this at all, but
where she said (wisely because she is so wise) ‘girls
get nowhere if they don’t ask for shit.’
Even at the time I wanted to applaud her (and did, I think)
and it’s stayed with me, and even though this, this new relationship, this
kisses and tickles and laughter and this shiny new taste of happiness, isn’t
really me asking for anything, it’s kind of the
same, you know? It’s me stepping back and thinking ‘I am fucking amazing and
I’ll be damned if I’m going to wither away under a patchwork quilt. & I am pretty/funny/interesting enough, if not to anybody else
then at least to me. AND SO, I am going to Do The Thing.’
And I did. I Did The Thing. I went on a date and he kissed
me and I went on another date and he kissed me again and two dates became three
and then there was a holiday and soon there will be another holiday and dating
and here we are.
For someone who’s been out of that particular game for A
Long Time, it wasn’t as daunting as I had expected it to be to start to share
my life with a person who isn’t the person I’ve shared a life with for years.
It was kind of refreshing. It was refreshing and it was fun and I find myself
falling asleep most nights these days with a smile on my face and you know
what? Right now, I feel happy. I am so
fucking happy.
My advice then, to you, to everyone
everywhere is to always always Do The Thing.
Whatever your thing is – do it.
Cure cancer; write that book; buy your dream house; leave
that job you hate and find one you love; go for a drink with that person you think
is kind of cute; when that guy you like leans in for a kiss you make sure you
pucker those lips, dammit. Because like
Jen said once, girls get nowhere if they don’t ask for shit and like I say, girls get nowhere if they don’t Do The Thing.
