Yesterday morning whilst I sat on the sofa
drinking coffee in his hoody, my main squeeze wandered around the house in
jeans and bare feet and I realised, from nowhere, that he had never looked more
perfect to me. I don't even like feet.
It was weird,
how just that sight of him, bare footed and laughing in the living room,
warming his feet over the roaring flames of the fire, gave me the absolute warm
fuzzies. It was nothing special, and certainly nothing intimate and yet there was
a strange sort of intimacy, a sort of vulnerability almost that I don’t
know quite how to explain.
He’s been in my
life for a long time now, this guy: I’ve seen him in all guises, from naked to
muddy and sweaty from a bike ride to dressed up in bow-tie and dinner suit; I’ve
let him hold me as I cry and hold me as I laugh; I’ve sat by his side on days
long car journeys, we’ve talked for more hours than I would ever like to try
and count, and I’ve watched him sleep and yet it was that: a Sunday morning
barefoot in his living room that almost left me breathless.
It reminded me
that sometimes the beauty in life is in the little things, the moments that you
don’t even realise are moments at all until they pass.
The beauty in
life is more than just grand gestures and big declarations, more than hot dates
and holidays and those expensive shoes you can’t really afford but are thinking
of buying anyway – although all of those things are beautiful too. Sometimes,
the beauty in life is whispers in the dark and a hand on the small of your
back, it’s in reading between the lines, hearing what is said in the unsaid, in
shared smiles and inside jokes and your head on his chest whilst he sleeps or when
that two year old says she loves you for the very first time and it reminded me
of a list I made once on this blog, of all the things I thought were
beautiful.
It made me want
to revisit it, to make another list and see how much has changed, to remind
myself that even when it all seems dark and hard and unfair - and wow but sometimes it does - there is so
much out there to fill me with joy, so much - like that one guy, barefoot in
the living room - if I only remember to look for it.
This is that
list (and should you be interested, this is the original).
- The way
Molly says ‘Jo’ and ‘snowman’ and ‘stickman’ and ‘where are you.’
- Clean,
fresh sheets
- The
seaside
- The
smell of the sea
- Puffins
- Kittens
- Cat
Paws
- And
cats washing their faces
- And
cats, generally
- Sunflowers
- Pretty
book covers
- And pretty
words
- Lightboxes
- Books
that get you
- People
that get you
- Kisses
- Scars
- Alice
in Wonderland
- Passports
- Lake
Annecy
- His
smile
- Old
bookshops
- Giggles
- Sunsets
- And
sunrises
- Road
Trips
- Sleepy
morning sex
- The
insides of wrists
- Coffee
- Bear
hugs from children
- Patchwork
quilts
- Thunder
and lightening
- Photographs
- Hipbones
- Emotions
- Freckles
- My
parents
- That
Guy.
- Cacti
- Ducklings
- Inside
jokes
- Letting
go
- Old
friends
- New
friends
- Self belief
