In Which I Got a New Kindle

HAPPY BELATED NEW YEAR.  Wow I am already so far behind the times but worry not!! I am going to be ALL ABOUT THE BLOGGING this year. By which I mean I will probably blog like crazy for a few weeks and then go back to my usual failings but whatever – the intention is there. Anyhow. I’m going to talk at you a little bit about the back end of last year and the start of this one, and maybe a little bit about what I hope my 2018 might look like. A little bit of a catch-up if you will.

So. WHAT NEWS. Christmas was lovely. I spent it with my favourites: my best friend and my family and it was full of fun times and giggles and then I went on holiday on Boxing Day for just over a week. I did the same a couple of years sgo and I really am such a fan of it because that week between Christmas and New Year is always such a weird week and I’m not a fan of New Year’s Eve as a thing anyway so getting away from it all nad having some QT in the mountains is the absolute best for me. I had a horrible early morning flight which was not my favourite at all – so not a morning person - but which gave me the chance to get to know the Christmas present I got myself because, drumroll please, I used part of my Christmas bonus (which probs I should have put to one side for when I have to pay my tax bill at the end of this month but whatever you only live once) to BUY A NEW KINDLE. #successfulmoneymanagement

I won’t lie: this felt like a necessity more than a treat truth be told (holy first world problems, batman, I know) because I didn’t really want a new Kindle. I love my trusty Kindle Keyboard with all my bookish heart but it’s absolutely on its last legs. Every time I use it I am on tenterhooks expecting it to die and it felt like it made sense to buy a new one whilst I had the cash (and my best guy has been on at me to get one ever since it out and out refused  to work when we were on holiday in the summer and who can blame him because who wants to be stuck in a foreign country with a me with nothing to read? NOBODY. He was probably dreading what this ski trip would look like if it happened again and I had no reading material) and so I used Christmas as an excuse and I ordered me a Paperwhite.

I love it, actually. I even loaded some books to it all on my own, which was easier than I expected it to be actually because wow I am a technophobe but magically it came linked to my Amazon account and all the books were there just waiting to be downloaded and it was so easy. We’re just getting to know each other but so far it’s going well. I think we’re going to be just fine. Welcome to my world, Paperwhite.

In which I Do The Thing

Recently, blogosphere, I have been kissing a guy (and I’ve been liking it.)

I know, right.

Gulp.

We’ll call him Sexy New Guy for now, as I don’t wish to reveal his identity just yet and he’s somebody I’ve known for a while and he’s funny and clever and has a smile that reminds me of Indiana Jones and he’s just all around excellent and it’s just generally a very nice time.

It’s weird really, because if you’d have told me this time last year that by Christmas I’d be puckering up for a guy that wasn’t The Ex Boyfriend then probably I would have laughed in your face, and yet, here we are.

Maybe people will think it’s too soon, and maybe people will think it’s not soon enough, personally I think it’s been almost a freaking year good gracious and that really there are much worse things I could be doing than kissing a guy who makes my tummy do the flippy thing.

And Sexy New Guy is lovely, and you want to know another thing: it was surprisingly easy. Falling into being with somebody again, into being with him was so so easy.  I think that’s always the thing isn’t it, putting yourself back out there is hard and scary and there’s this niggling voice in the back of your mind that’s whispering ‘you’re not pretty/funny/interesting enough’ and it would be so easy to just sort of stay indoors with a good book and Netflix forever. Especially when there are so many episodes of Pretty Little Liars to watch.

But then I remembered a conversation I’d had with Jen months ago, which was in no way related to this at all, but where she said (wisely because she is so wise) ‘girls get nowhere if they don’t ask for shit.’

Even at the time I wanted to applaud her (and did, I think) and it’s stayed with me, and even though this, this new relationship, this kisses and tickles and laughter and this shiny new taste of happiness, isn’t really me asking for anything, it’s kind of the same, you know? It’s me stepping back and thinking ‘I am fucking amazing and I’ll be damned if I’m going to wither away under a patchwork quilt. & I am pretty/funny/interesting enough, if not to anybody else then at least to me. AND SO, I am going to Do The Thing.’

And I did. I Did The Thing. I went on a date and he kissed me and I went on another date and he kissed me again and two dates became three and then there was a holiday and soon there will be another holiday and dating and here we are.

For someone who’s been out of that particular game for A Long Time, it wasn’t as daunting as I had expected it to be to start to share my life with a person who isn’t the person I’ve shared a life with for years. It was kind of refreshing. It was refreshing and it was fun and I find myself falling asleep most nights these days with a smile on my face and you know what? Right now, I feel happy. I am so fucking happy.

My advice then, to you, to everyone everywhere is to always always Do The Thing.

Whatever your thing is – do it.

Cure cancer; write that book; buy your dream house; leave that job you hate and find one you love; go for a drink with that person you think is kind of cute; when that guy you like leans in for a kiss you make sure you pucker those lips, dammit.  Because like Jen said once, girls get nowhere if they don’t ask for shit and like I say, girls get nowhere if they don’t Do The Thing.