Review: Fellside

Looking back through my blog the other day I realised that I never actually reviewed M R Carey’s The Girl With All the Gifts. Which, well at first I thought that was extremely remiss of me but then I realised that actually, it was more likely because I didn’t know how. I mean, how is it possible to review a book that you really need to read without knowing much about. & what is there to say other than I loved it so freaking hard. One of my faves ever. Yep, I’m saying that.

Anyhow, the point I’m making is that because I loved The Girl With All the Gifts as much as I did, I was ridic excited when I realised that Carey has another book, Fellside, which is published today. I did an actual dance of delight and excitement. An actual dance people. With a shimmy.

So, I’ve read it and I’m here, sat at my pretty purple laptop and typing this little review and well, what do I want to say?

Fellside is wildly different from The Girl With All the Gifts. Wildly.

There’s that. & that’s a good thing I think, because if he’d tried to follow in the footsteps of that book of great beauty then I fear he may of fallen flat on his face because there would have been comparisons and a bar too high to even contemplate. With this book, totally different as it is, you’re forced to judge it on its own merits. And merits? There are plenty.

So. Fellside’s set in a women’s max security prison (on the Yorkshire Moors no less HIGH FIVE) which, well I was always going to be all over this wasn’t I? I binge watch OitNB like a pro; I have all the seasons of Bad Girls on DVD box set. I love me a good women’s prison story.

 

& it’s about Jess Moulson, convicted of murdering a ten year old child, and a little boy with a message. & plotwise Immma tell you nothing else, sorry. I think that might be Carey’s thing: that you have to go into his books cold. COLD BUT OH SO EXCITED.

What I will tell you is that it’s pretty damn excellent.

In a similar way I guess to The Girl With All the Gifts, Fellside is creepy and compulsive, and hard-hitting; it’s gruesome and raw and it makes your heart race just a little bit. It’s entirely unexpected and incredibly well-crafted and it’s so very intense and so very very gripping.

& desolate. It’s desolate. Desolate like the Yorkshire Moors and that, that is no mistake I am certain. The prison is where it is for a reason. And I love it. 

There is a strange kind of beauty to Carey’s writing, it’s raw and honest and evocative and I will read, I think, anything else he has to offer ever because not many could make me love The Girl With All the Gifts and not many could make me love Fellside and not many could write two spectacularly different stories and make me love both of them as hard as I do. I doubt I’ll throw Fellside in the faces of everyone I know who reads like I did with The Girl With All the Gifts, but still, even though I didn’t love it quite as much, it’s absolutely definitely worth a read. It’s one of those books that you kind of want to hold aloft and say ‘see, this is why I’d rather stop in and read on a Saturday night, because people can do this with just 26 letters.’

I reckon I’d have given it 5 stars if I’d read it first which perhaps means my rating system is a bit messed up but hey, whatcha gonna do?

Buy yourself a copy why don’t you? It’s out now. 

Book Review: Flawed

Everyone knows who Cecelia Ahern is, right? I mean even if you haven’t read P.S I Love You (which I haven’t as it happens) then you’ve seen the film (I totes have, hello Gerard Butler you attractive man, you) and more than likely been a little teary-eyed.

It was that, really, that made me want to read Flawed, not so much my being a massive fan of Ahern’s work because well, let’s be honest here I’m kind of not: I’ve only read a couple of her books and a quick look back at my Goodreads account shows a 2 star review, but that I’m always kind of fascinated when somebody steps outside of their comfort zone and Flawed seemed to be as far away from PS I Love You as it can possibly get. It’s YA and it’s dystopia and I know what you’re probably thinking (not another one. That’s what you were thinking, right? Which, fine, because I kind of thought it myself a little bit except I do so love a good dystopia and will probably never say ‘oh I’m so bored of that now’ because MY INTEREST IS ALWAYS SO PIQUED) and it’s absolutely not a hearts and flowers sexy Gerard Butler-esque love story.

What it is, actually (and a little bit surprisingly, sorry) is thoughtful and clever and also a new twist on an old trope which I like because well, why would I not and holy run-on sentence batman, it’s definitely worth a read. It’s a book that doesn’t shy away from a pretty grim message (HURRAH) and it’s a book that makes you think - which I liked and my poor little over-worked brain cells perhaps did not but who asked them anyways- and it’s full of characters that I didn’t hate. & so often I read books where I actively dislike the characters and you know what? That’s not fun.

I did not hate these characters.

Apart from the one I was supposed to hate – and that’s another thing: Ahern has created an awesome villain here; I’m talking President Snow levels of awesome, I’m talking almost-but-not-quite  Umbridge. (& by awesome I obviously mean complete bastard. You got that, right?) This is not love-to-hate, this is out and out ‘you are bastard and I hate you, pure and simple.’

I won’t lie to you - this is a YA dystopia and so to a degree it kind of sticks to that tried and tested formula wherein a good girl notices a problem with the ‘rules’ of society and decides to make a stand much to the horror of most everybody she knows, there’s backlash from that but there’s also a handful of people who seem to have been hanging around in the background waiting for someone to be the poster child for the resistance; there’s your love triangle – one good boy, one bad boy etcerera etcetera and  there were parts of it that made me sigh a teeny bit and think oh but THG/Divergent much which is kind of annoying and I really would have liked a little more world building because I am all about the background, and (again), when you really give it some thought there were some aspects that seemed kind of illogical - although perhaps that was the point, the book is called Flawed after all – but, all that said I still feel like this book has enough about it for that not to matter too much, you get caught up in what’s happening even though you kind of already know what’s happening. S’that make sense?

Anyway, you remember last year when I got all excited about The Fire Sermon? (and if you don’t then please to go and read my post about that because I’m reading book 2 now so you need to be all caught up) That’s how I feel about this book now, (and the similarities of the whole issue regarding branding do not escape me) because this is one of those keep-on-reading-when-you-should-be-sleeping kind of books with just the right level of uncomfortablness to make you feel a bit cringey but still unable to not turn the page and enough about it to stir up all these emotions because it’s heavy and it’s full of heart-wrenching heart-wrenchyness.

Totally a word.

It kind of fills you with a sense of self-righteousness and it makes you think about society as it is right now which let’s be real here is what I both love and hate about dystopian novels. I love that whole twisty stomach feeling that comes from the realisation that all this seemingly insane story is, is a slight exaggeration of what is happening right now, that in a heartbeat what really is could easily become that. A good social commentary. I love it.

So, what do you need to know? Well, this book is going to make you mad, okay? You’re going to be foot stampingly throw your book against a wall mad and not just because it ends on a cliffhanger so frustrating you want to tear out your hair. WHAT HAPPENS NEXT CECILIA AND WHY ARE YOU MAKING ME WAIT. There’s a torture scene that’s very hard to read so you know – be aware of that: like I said, it’s pretty heavy. Kudos actually to Ahern for that, for realising she doesn’t need to gloss over the nitty gritty because actually her target market can totally hack it, and, whilst there is a hint of the old romance, it’s by no means the focal point of the story and I liked that – I didn’t want this to be a love story and I’m glad that the love story there was was slow burn and not that frustrating insta-love. (Although, that said, Celestine’s attachment to Carrick did baffle me a little bit…)

In a nutshell I liked it, and I’ll be reading book 2 and I have no qualms whatsoever about saying go forth and read it. Read it and come back and tell me what you thought.

Review: Salt to the Sea

I already knew I was going to love Salt to the Sea. I also already knew it was going to make me feel all the things. That it was going to hurt. I was right. 

I mean it didn’t hurt as much as Between Shades of Gray - which FYI I am still not over, will likely never be over – but still, it kind of got me right in the chest because Ruta Sepetys has this way of making you feel like you’re actually living the words on the page and the words on the page whilst utterly beautiful do not depict the happiest of times. I mean I won’t lie; I went into this book with an actual sense of dread. At the very best this would be bittersweet; it very likely wouldn’t even be that and yet, I wanted to read it so badly.

Salt to the Sea is set in 1945. The second World War is drawing to a close and thousands upon thousands of refugees are desperately making their way to what they can only hope will be freedom; a second chance; a new start. Our story for the main part is that of a Lithuanian nurse, a Prussian soldier, a young Polish girl (and a young strangely desperate and completely sociopathic Nazi.)

They first three, and the people they’re travelling with are desperate to board a ship (the Wilhelm Gustloff, which, please please Google it. It makes the Titanic look like a storm in a teacup. 1053 lives were lost when the Titanic sank; around 9400 lives were lost when the Wilhelm Gustloff went down) which will take them to some kind of promised land – any place will be better probably than what they’re walking away from. & they are walking, they’re walking miles.

Sepetys picks you up, and she unceremoniously sets you down in that abandoned barn, on that dusty road, on that harbour where people are fighting to be allowed passage; your feet hurt and your hearts hurts and your stomach rumbles and you’re lonely and terrified and still somehow kind of hopeful and you feel like you know Joana who has left so much behind and is carrying around all this guilt and yet still puts everyone else before herself; the Poet who you just want to love and protect because he’s this old man and he’s seen so much; Florian who pretends he’s tough but you know really isn’t and who has secrets of his own; Emilia who, well, hers is a story that you need to read really, but be prepared for your heart to fracture. You know them and you love them and you ache for them more so because whilst you know that they perhaps didn’t exist, thousands like them did, that those things happened to very real people and there’s no hiding from it.

There’s this one scene where a woman throws her baby at the ship so desperate is she to make sure that her child gets away from what has become a living hell and I swear I made this weird sort of keening noise. It’s two sentences at most and it still hurts like a sucker punch. It hurts because it might not be true but yet it still really is. This shit happened, Jesus look at the world right now. This shit is still happening and I don’t know perhaps that’s what makes this book so powerful and so poignant. What happened here, 70 years ago and that seems so atrocious and so unbelievable is a thing we’re seeing every time we turn on the television (and don’t get me started on how my stomach dropped when I drove through Calais a couple of weeks ago) It’s unreal but it’s so real. It’s unreal that it happened then, but it did. It’s unreal that it’s still happening, and yet. And yet.

Sepetys has a talent. Not many people could write a novel with 4 very different, equally strong voices and not have you feeling lost of overpowered. Sepetys does, each character is important, each story matters and despite the switch from one point of view to another the story doesn’t lose pace for a second. & God but it’s well researched. SO well researched.

Has it gotten under my skin like Between Shades of Gray? No, but I think perhaps that’s because I was prepared for it . I went into BSoG not knowing what I was about to read; I went into this with my heart protected in a layer of bubble wrap. However, this, like Between Shades of Gray is a story of survival, of hope when everything seems hopeless and the sheer strength of the human spirit. It’s a difficult book, but it’s one that is so worth reading because it’s important and it’s beautiful. And there’s a nod to Between Shades of Gray in there too which made my fangirl heart flutter.

Review: Exposure

I am a fan of Helen Dunmore. I’ll say that first. Her novel The Siege is one of my faves. It’s also one of those novels that broke my actual heart. So, I was obviously super excited to read her latest book, Exposure. I did a small happy dance when I saw it on NetGalley. It’s kind of excellent too, I mean think Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy but with less of the oh- so-confusing espionage stuff and the pages of words that made me sleepy and more excellent characterisation and beautiful narrative.

It’s set in 1960’s Cold War London and it’s part thriller, part love story, part character study. It’s got desire and it’s got secrets and it’s got betrayal and it’s such a good read. An ‘I don’t want to put this down’ kind of read actually.

It’s about this guy, Simon, who quite by accident ends up in possession of a file he should never have had and finds himself in prison, accused of selling information to the Soviets. Which, well that’s not A Good Thing, at all. This is the COLD WAR after all. His wife, Lily (who is excellent FYI and was also once upon a time a German Jew, forced to flee her home as a child just before the war) is certain he’s innocent and that there’s this big cover up and that all that’s being said is horribly wrong. She’s so certain that she’s prepared to take risks to protect him and you kind of wonder whether that blind faith is a flaw or a virtue. It’s definitely kind of misguided. She also knows that she, and her children, are in danger, that it lurks round every corner and that probably nobody is to be trusted, and Lily is desperate to be safe – who can blame her. She’s built this home, this haven for herself and her family and now it’s all about to crumble around her. She believes utterly in Simon and who he is and what he tells her and she has no idea of the secrets he’s keeping from her, secrets about his past, about former lives and loves and things that should they ever be revealed could have an impact far worse than any conviction of spying. So you’ve got Simon, stuck in prison, you’ve got Lily, so faithful and so freaking strong and determined to do whatever it takes to protect herself and her children and her husband and you’ve got Simon’s friend Giles, stuck in hospital with a septic wound that’s being treated by leeches and more scared probably than everyone else put together – he’s the one after all that took the file that landed Simon in prison home from the office when obviously that was a thing he should not have done and whereas Lily is portrayed as strong and loyal and good, you kind of know inherently that Giles will trample on anyone just to save himself, regardless of who they might have been to him once upon a time. Simon’s in prison and Giles is in hospital and it’s up to Lily to love and honour and defend against this utter bastard that tracks her down and knocks on her front door and that’s what it’s about really at it’s heart ,this book- not about espionage at all really but about what it means to love and about how the choices we make colour who we are and who we end up being.

It kind of feels like the kind of book you want to read in winter. Does that even make sense? You know when a book is cold and at the same time warm and feels like blankets and apple crumble and mugs of tea. That’s what Exposure feels like to me, like blankets and apple crumble and mugs of tea.  It’s so well crafted and it’s engrossing and somehow both heart-warming and chilling and it goes in one direction and then sneaks off in another and you remain engaged with every single character and every single thread to the story even as the book switches from one point of view to another. It’s good, it’s really really good and honestly, I am so pleased I read it.

Exposure is out now. Go forth and read.

New Things to Read in 2016

Hello pals!

I had wondered about posting today all about snow covered mountains and vin chaud and cold fingers on hipbones and kisses because that’s what my life looks like right now and frankly, it’s marvellous but I decided that really probably nobody will be anywhere near as interested in my snowy adventures as they are in the books I’m waiting for this year. So, let’s talk about that instead. Grab yourself a cuppa because this is a list. 

2016 books are a coming, some, because it’s already February are even here. There’s probably hundreds (thousands?) but obviously (obviously) I’m not going to list them all, that would be ridic; imma just talk at you a little about the things that are on my radar right now, like, (and I think I talked about it’s general existence last year) Steve Toltz’s Quicksand which is due for paperback release in April. I love a paperback. I love a hardback from a purely aesthetic point of view because pretty, but paperbacks are just so much more manageable aren’t they? When you read in bed, which I do all of the time, holding a hardback is far too much like a workout.

So. What’ve we got?

Chris Cleve (who wrote The Other Hand which I loved) has a new book out in April called Everyone Brave is Forgotten and it sounds awesome. It’s set during the Second World War and is about, I think, how the every day can change us as much as the unexpected can, about how war is perhaps just a backdrop for the ordinary. It sounds excellent. I think you all should read it. Actually I think you all should read all of the books in this post because that’s kind of the point…

Anyhow.

The sequel to A Court of Thorns and Roses is out later in the spring I think, mebbes May. It’s called A Court of Mist and Fury and I am ridiculously excited about it. I WANT TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENS NEXT. And, all the characters are stupidly attractive in my head so you know, there’s that. 

Speaking of sequels, anyone remember how much I liked The Fire Sermon last year? Well book two (The Map of Bones) is also published at the start of May (again, I think!) and again, ridic excited. I cannot wait to see where that story goes next. The Fire Sermon is the dystopia where everyone is born a twin and each twin is either an Alpha (is physically ‘perfect’) or an Omega (is not) and all the Omegas are branded and cast out and the world is riled by Alphas BUT in a cruel(?) twist of fate, when one twin dies so does the other. It centres around Cass who is an Omega with a dream of Alphas and Omegas being equal and a twin in a position of power. S’really worth a read if you haven’t already and I cannot wait to see what happens in book 2. So excited.

Ruta Sepetys – her of Between Shades of Gray aka the book that broke my fragile little heart - also has a new book out. It’s called Salt to the Sea, and it’s out on Feb 4^th which is TOMORROW PEEPS. It’s a WWII true story and I have so many feelings – I’ll review this next week so won’t say much now but be warned, it will make you feel. Ruta does that so well.

Helen Simonson who wrote the lovely Major Pettigrew’s Last Stand has a new book out next month. I know. Marvellous. It’s called The Summer Before the War and again, sounds lovely. I don’t know a person who wasn’t enchanted by the Major so I have high hopes for this. It’s set in East Sussex in 1914 and it’s about Hugh who has come to visit his Aunt and Beatrice the new female (gasp!) Latin teacher and the last perfect summer before the unimaginable happens.

The Lubetkin Legacy by Marina Lewycka is out in May. I expect it to make me laugh out loud. I still giggle when I think about We Are All Made of Glue.

Shtum by Ben Lester about the family of a ten year old boy with sever autism is getting a lot of hype right now. I’m hearing all the good things. That one’s out in April.

Anthony Quinn’s Freya is out in the spring. It promises the unpredictable course of a woman’s life and loves against a backdrop of Soho pornographers, theatrical peacocks, willowy models, priapic painters, homophobic blackmailers, political careerists.

STOP THE PRESSES: Claire King, who wrote the GORGEOUS The Night Rainbow has a new book out now. It’s called Everything Love Is and I AM EXCITED. So excited. GO FORTH AND READ.

The first in Michael Grant’s new series Front Lines was published last week I think. Should be good although I’m still only part way through the Gone books, not because I don’t like them – I do – but because so many books; so little time. You know how it goes. Anyway, this will likely be A Good Read. Apparently s’perfect for fans of The Book Thief and Code Name Verity and it reimagines WWII with girls fighting on the front lines…

There’s a new David Leviathan collab out in the summer (with Nina LaCour who I don’t know) which I want because David Leviathan. S’called You Know Me Well.

In June Kit de Waal’s My Name is Leon is published and again, this is one that I’ve been seeing a fair amount of hype about. It’s set in the 80’s and it sounds like it might be that special kind of heartbreaking. Have a blurb: A brother chosen. A brother left behind. And a family where you'd least expect to find one. Leon is nine, and has a perfect baby brother called Jake. They have gone to live with Maureen, who has fuzzy red hair like a halo, and a belly like Father Christmas. But the adults are speaking in low voices, and wearing Pretend faces. They are threatening to give Jake to strangers. Since Jake is white and Leon is not. As Leon struggles to cope with his anger, certain things can still make him smile - like Curly Wurlys, riding his bike fast downhill, burying his hands deep in the soil, hanging out with Tufty (who reminds him of his dad), and stealing enough coins so that one day he can rescue Jake and his mum. Evoking a Britain of the early eighties, My Name is Leon is a heart-breaking story of love, identity and learning to overcome unbearable loss. Of the fierce bond between siblings. And how - just when we least expect it - we manage to find our way home.

Yann Martel’s new book The High Mountains of Portugal was released this week and it sounds incredible, a road trip across 2 continents and 4 centuries and the uncovering of a secret found in an old journal. There’s been a fair amount of buzz about this book, obviously and I’m totally caught up in it. I loved The Life of Pi and this feels like it could measure up to that. Fingers crossed hey!

There’s a short story collection out in March by Helen Oyeyemi which I’ve heard described as insprired by fairy tales with all the stories being centred around the idea of a key: to the heart, to a house, to a secret. Obviously I am all over that. I’m really excited about it actually and I have a copy on pre-order. Woop woop.

I’m also excited about another short story collection – The Pier Falls by Mark Haddon, mostly because I love his novels and I love his poetry and I expect I’ll love this too. Roll on May! 

 M.R Carey who wrote the amazingly amazing The Girl With All the Gifts has a new book out in April called Fellside and I actually can not wait. Actually.  It's set in a max security prison on the Yorkshire moors and it sounds terrifying and that's totally not usually my thing at all but I loved  The Girl With All the Gifts so much that how can I not read this?

Fairyland's Catherynne M Valente has a novel out in March - Radiance - which I want to read for Fairyland reasons and also because it sounds incredible, with lawless saloons on Mars and disappearing diving colonies on Venus and Hollywood being on the moon. It sounds SO GOOD. 

Deborah Levy (who wrote the excellent Swimming Home) has a new novel out in March – Hot Milk. It’s about a mother and daughter seeking salvation in a Spanish village and it sounds excellent. I thought Swimming Home was stunning so I really can’t wait for this.

May sees a new book from Aravind Adiga – Selection Day, I enjoyed his other two so I’ll be giving this one a read for sure for sure

There’s a new Anne Tyler in June. So much for A Spool of Blue Thread being your last Anne! It’s a reworking of The Taming of the Shrew and I bet it’s glorious. Why would I not want to read an Anne Tyler version of The Taming of the Shrew?

The Wonder by Emma Donoghue who wrote Room is out I think in September, so it’s a while off but I reckon it’ll be worth the wait. It’s set in the 1850’s and is about a girl who has stopped eating.

Bookworm by Lucy Mangan is basically a love letter to books and childhood reading and it sounds like it could be right up my street. Got to wait to October though which is AGES.

As well as getting my hands on that one in October I’ll also be all over Gary Oldman’s vampire novel. Because it’s Gary Oldman’s vampire novel. It’s called Blood Riders and it’s a vampire novel. By Gary Oldman. I don’t know what else to say to you about this. Dracula has written a vampire novel. Gary Oldman who I love has written a vampire novel. Not just any vampire novel though, these are vampire cowboys and it’s set in the Gold Rush and yep, I want it. (I should probably point out that it’s co-authored actually; Gary wrote it with his manager Douglas Urbanksi. Apparently they’ve been planning it for ages; I love that.)

 

 

& a vampire novel by Gary Oldman (still not over it) seems like a good place to stop because long list is long but still, there’s some exciting stuff coming, is there not? You should talk to me about what’s tickled your fancy – and what you’re excited about that I’ve neglected.

Review: Carry On

Simon Snow just wants to relax and savor his last year at the Watford School of Magicks, but no one will let him. His girlfriend broke up with him, his best friend is a pest, and his mentor keeps trying to hide him away in the mountains where maybe he’ll be safe. Simon can’t even enjoy the fact that his roommate and longtime nemesis is missing, because he can’t stop worrying about the evil git. Plus there are ghosts. And vampires. And actual evil things trying to shut Simon down. When you’re the most powerful magician the world has ever known, you never get to relax and savor anything.
Carry On is a ghost story, a love story, a mystery and a melodrama. It has just as much kissing and talking as you’d expect from a Rainbow Rowell story — but far, far more monsters.

Rainbow Rowell, let me love you. Goodness gacious. I have such an author!crush you don’t even know. Do I want to be friends with her or do I just want to be her. I don’t know. I just know that actually she can do no wrong. HOW DOES SHE WORDS.

“He’s a book full of footnotes brought to life. He’s a jacket made of elbow patches."

How. Does. She. Words.

Anyway.

In case you missed my prior Rainbow love-ins, I talk about Eleanor & Park here and about Fangirl here. I’ll also be back soon to talk about Landline soon. Right now though, you guessed it (and pull up a seat and flail with me, or if you don’t like Rainbow’s other stuff then you know, don’t because this book is so Rainbow Rowell) I’m talking about Carry On and how it delighted me from start to finish. Seriously. Delighted me. & if you stop here often you’ll know that occasionally I lose all coherency and just shout a little about how much I love a thing. I’m about to do that right now. Sorry not sorry.

I out and out cackled when I found out that Carry On was going to be a thing. I mean a book that originally existed as a fictional book in one of Rainbow’s other books about a girl that writes fanfiction and that is clearly a tongue in cheek look at the whole fanfiction world in general and specifically (or so I thought anyway) the whole Harry/Draco fandom becoming it’s own actual hard-backed fully fleshed story. WHY WOULD YOU NOT WANT TO READ THAT and how gloriously excellent and amusing is it that Rainbow Rowell made it happen. 

GIVE ME ALL THE WONDERFUL META.

Also: insane. This book is fucking nuts I swear and it’s brilliant. It’s like Harry Potter gone batshit crazy and at the same time it’s….I mean you start off comparing to HP a little because it’s a book about a magical school and a war against a Big Bad and this one student that’s The Chosen One even though he doesn’t want to be really, and is sometimes a little bit shit at well, life, so how can you not.

(Just when you think you're having a scene without Simon, he drops in to remind you that everyone else is a supporting character in his catastrophe.)

Ha ha and also ha.

Pretty soon though you forget the whole Potter thing because there is so much going on here, this whole brand new world, these brand new characters, and whilst you still totally gigglesnort a little at the occasional tip-of-the-hat you mostly just get totally swept away in the Watford of it all, in Simon and Baz and spells that reference Bohemian freaking Rhapsody and the fact that it’s so gay. 

And also marvellously diverse in the way that all Rainbow’s books are and everybody else’s books should be. Example one, because I’m nice like that

“I didn’t know someone like you could be named Penelope,” I said. Stupidly. (Everything I said that year was stupid.)
She wrinkled her nose. “What should ‘someone like me’ be named?”
“I don’t know.” I didn’t know. Other girls I’d met who looked like her were named Saanvi or Aditi—and they definitely weren’t ginger. “Saanvi?”
“Someone like me can be named anything,” Penelope said.
“Oh,” I said. “Right, sorry.”
“And we can do whatever we want with our hair.” She turned back to the assignment, flipping her red ponytail. “It’s impolite to stare, you know, even at your friends.”

Also. Baz and Simon.

Everyone knows that hate/love is an excellent trope, right? I mean it’s where the whole Harry/Draco ship stemmed from isn’t it. & it goes back so much further than that. Let’s make a list of the great love stories that stem from this trope. Or let’s not because ain’t nobody got time for that. Point is, I love that trope & this book, it’s the stuff dreams are made of I swear to God. Rainbow takes all that tension and all those misunderstandings and all that anger and all the shitty spiteful comments and makes it all her own and THEN THE CUTE BOYS DO KISSING.  & obviously you know there’s something there because Cath ships Baz/Simon in Fangirl with the fire on a hundred burning suns and it would have been weird for that not to have been a thing here but I didn’t know how subtle a thing it might be (partly because Baz and Simon aren't canon in Fangirl), how much reading between the lines one might have to do *coughRemus/Siriuscough* but, well, nope not subtle at all and it makes me hope for a world where LGBTQ characters are so common a thing in books that it goes without saying.anyway, both boys are excellent in their own right and they're gorgeous together and I swear nobody writes falling in love, being in love, love like Rainbow Rowell. I said it about E&P (and I am still not over that) and I said it again when I read Fangirl and I say it again now: she just gets it and wow can she carve a sentence from your very heart.

Sharing a room with the person you want most is like sharing a room with an open fire.

He's constantly drawing you in. And you're constantly stepping too close. And you know it's not good--that there is no good--that there's absolutely nothing that can ever come of it.

But you do it anyway.
And then...
Well. Then you burn.

 ***

He's still looking in my eyes. Staring me down like he did that dragon, chin tilted and locked. "I'm not the Chosen One," he says.
I meet his gaze and sneer. My arm is a steel band around his waist. "I choose you," I say. "Simon Snow, I choose you.

Also.  This book is funny. . And also also there is dialogue like this:

“I can’t believe there’s a part of your body that grows when you need it. You’re like a mutant.”
“I’m a vampire,” Baz says, “and can you hear yourself?”

***

She told me later that her parents had told her to steer clear of me at school.
"My mum said that nobody really knew where you came from. And that you might be dangerous." "Why didn't you listen to her?" I asked.
"Because nobody knew where you came from, Simon! And you might be dangerous!"
"You have the worst survival instincts."
"Also, I felt sorry for you," she said. "You were holding your wand backwards.

& does Rainbow Rowell have a professional Brit-picker because for the most part this book is so gloriously British and I loved that.

I want, I WANT, I want the other 7 books. I’m not going to lie; I would read every single moment of Simon and Baz’s school experience in the same way I read Harry’s. ALL THE FEELS. One book was not enough even though it’s a long and very pretty book. & holy smokes is it pretty.

In which I Do The Thing

Recently, blogosphere, I have been kissing a guy (and I’ve been liking it.)

I know, right.

Gulp.

We’ll call him Sexy New Guy for now, as I don’t wish to reveal his identity just yet and he’s somebody I’ve known for a while and he’s funny and clever and has a smile that reminds me of Indiana Jones and he’s just all around excellent and it’s just generally a very nice time.

It’s weird really, because if you’d have told me this time last year that by Christmas I’d be puckering up for a guy that wasn’t The Ex Boyfriend then probably I would have laughed in your face, and yet, here we are.

Maybe people will think it’s too soon, and maybe people will think it’s not soon enough, personally I think it’s been almost a freaking year good gracious and that really there are much worse things I could be doing than kissing a guy who makes my tummy do the flippy thing.

And Sexy New Guy is lovely, and you want to know another thing: it was surprisingly easy. Falling into being with somebody again, into being with him was so so easy.  I think that’s always the thing isn’t it, putting yourself back out there is hard and scary and there’s this niggling voice in the back of your mind that’s whispering ‘you’re not pretty/funny/interesting enough’ and it would be so easy to just sort of stay indoors with a good book and Netflix forever. Especially when there are so many episodes of Pretty Little Liars to watch.

But then I remembered a conversation I’d had with Jen months ago, which was in no way related to this at all, but where she said (wisely because she is so wise) ‘girls get nowhere if they don’t ask for shit.’

Even at the time I wanted to applaud her (and did, I think) and it’s stayed with me, and even though this, this new relationship, this kisses and tickles and laughter and this shiny new taste of happiness, isn’t really me asking for anything, it’s kind of the same, you know? It’s me stepping back and thinking ‘I am fucking amazing and I’ll be damned if I’m going to wither away under a patchwork quilt. & I am pretty/funny/interesting enough, if not to anybody else then at least to me. AND SO, I am going to Do The Thing.’

And I did. I Did The Thing. I went on a date and he kissed me and I went on another date and he kissed me again and two dates became three and then there was a holiday and soon there will be another holiday and dating and here we are.

For someone who’s been out of that particular game for A Long Time, it wasn’t as daunting as I had expected it to be to start to share my life with a person who isn’t the person I’ve shared a life with for years. It was kind of refreshing. It was refreshing and it was fun and I find myself falling asleep most nights these days with a smile on my face and you know what? Right now, I feel happy. I am so fucking happy.

My advice then, to you, to everyone everywhere is to always always Do The Thing.

Whatever your thing is – do it.

Cure cancer; write that book; buy your dream house; leave that job you hate and find one you love; go for a drink with that person you think is kind of cute; when that guy you like leans in for a kiss you make sure you pucker those lips, dammit.  Because like Jen said once, girls get nowhere if they don’t ask for shit and like I say, girls get nowhere if they don’t Do The Thing.

Review: Throne of Glass

Sometimes (exceptionally rarely, but sometimes) loving a book can be A Bad Thing. Or rather, not so much loving the book is bad, but the way it gets you fired up for every other word, shopping lists included, that that author has ever written can occasionally be less than great because let’s face it: going into something with unrealistically high expectations very rarely ends well. This is true for life, not just for books. We’ll call it Jo’s Life Lessons of 2016 and you’re welcome.

When I read A Court of Thorns and Roses last year I loved it. I gulped it down and I finished it in what could be record time and was sad that I couldn’t pick up the second book straight away and I resolved then and there to read all that Sarah J Maas ever wrote. & the Throne of Glass series is everywhere man. I mean seriously, I have read so few blogs that aren’t flailing over it and it’s all over twitter and instagram and well, just the internet in general and it sounded awesome. So I read book one. I wanted to love it; I expected it to laugh in the face of ACoTaR and just be a million times better you know?

& it wasn’t.

I mean, it wasn’t bad, and I liked it enough to buy a copy for my 15 year old cousin for Christmas but truth be told? I liked ACoTaR better. *hides from the internet*

So, let’s talk about it.

If you’ve been living under a freaking rock then you’re perhaps wondering what the book is even about. So, according to Goodreads who always summarise better than I do, because it’s their job and all:

After serving out a year of hard labour in the salt mines of Endovier for her crimes, 18-year-old assassin Celaena Sardothien is dragged before the Crown Prince. Prince Dorian offers her her freedom on one condition: she must act as his champion in a competition to find a new royal assassin.

Her opponents are men-thieves and assassins and warriors from across the empire, each sponsored by a member of the king's council. If she beats her opponents in a series of eliminations, she'll serve the kingdom for four years and then be granted her freedom. Celaena finds her training sessions with the captain of the guard, Westfall, challenging and exhilarating. But she's bored stiff by court life. Things get a little more interesting when the prince starts to show interest in her... but it's the gruff Captain Westfall who seems to understand her best.

Then one of the other contestants turns up dead... quickly followed by another. Can Celaena figure out who the killer is before she becomes a victim? As the young assassin investigates, her search leads her to discover a greater destiny than she could possibly have imagined…

I know. Sounds so damn good. It sounds like everything I want in a book most of the time. So why was I bored? I mean, I put this book down to paint my nails one time. I hardly ever paint my nails because I am bad at it. & I don’t understand why because I liked it.

I guess I just wanted it to be so much more than it was and that’s the problem. 

& I was frustrated. The book was more of a romance than I thought it was going to be, which is fine – I mean dead inside I am not; I love a good love story as much as the next girl, but here I wanted more of the other stuff.

Caleana is an excellent character and the whole assassins X-Factor thing could have been so good and just like in ACoTaR the world that Maas built was fascinating and the problem is, is that’s what I wanted to read about. Really, whether Celaena ended up with Westfall or Dorian was a secondary issue. Team Captain of the Guard or Team Crown Prince? I don’t care; I just want to see this badass girl being badass please.  There’s all this talk about her being the best assassin to ever assassinate but you never get to see that, there’s too much tell and not enough show and it makes it hard to get invested, in any of it.

Celeana’s excellent – she’s vain and arrogant and clever, and she has this temper, she likes to read and she’s self-assured and confident and watching her grow into herself again after being at rock bottom in an actual death camp is marvellous. There’s a lot of her finding herself, and of her delighting in the luxuries of nice food and pretty dresses but it would have been so awesome to have that juxtaposed against this tough ruthless murderer. To see it instead of just being told that’s how it is contrary to appearances you know? I wanted to see some murder. I wanted less Celeana/Dorian/Westfall and more of the stuff that would have made this book amazing, I mean I’m really glad Celeana had confidence in her own abilities but how was I supposed to believe she was the best ever when all of the good bits, all the tasks and the eliminations and the confrontations were all just glossed over. GIMME THE GRITTY STUFF. Don’t write me a book about a strong female character and then only really show me her dancing around the two male leads. Please. 

I mean, I liked it. I did, and I get why so many people love it, because if you’re looking for a nice easy read, a bit of a love story with a fantasy twist then probably this book ticks all the boxes. Read it without the expectations and you’ll likely be all ‘that Josephine is crazy because this book is amazing.’

& can Goodreads please start with the half star option. Please?