Showing posts with label siken. Show all posts
Showing posts with label siken. Show all posts

The Time and Place Book Tag



I absolutely do not want to be at work today. I want to be home, watching Wimbledon. Today is a good day on Centre Court: Venus and Serena, Andy Murray, Roger Federer. Oh but how I wish I was not at work. Le sigh. I am at work though, and as such I shall try to cheer myself up by talking about books.


So. Last week Jen created The Time and Place Book Tag over on her YouTube channel.

You can watch her video and find out what it’s all about here and you should because Jen is awesome. 
 

If you can’t do that til later, then that’s cool: in a nutshell, the tag is basically what it says – an excuse to talk about ten books that remind you of a time and/or a place. Because that’s totally a thing, right? We all have those books that remind us of this holiday or that break-up, being that age or friends with that person. Books that you only have to hear the title of to be transported back to a whole other time or place, even if that’s not necessarily a good thing. & because Jen tagged me, these are mine. 


Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince was the last present my boyfriend bought for me before he passed away in 2005. He pre-ordered it from Amazon and I had no idea, it just turned up on release day, by which point he was really super sick and I remember opening it and him smiling at me and my heart feeling like it had been ripped right out of my chest. The book was released on July 16th and he died on the 30th so it was all pretty grim. I remember him sleeping on the sofa because we didn’t have a tv in our bedroom and he was too sick to move far, and me making a bed out of cushions and lying on the lounge floor. I read this book and watched him sleep and I swear to God, I’m not even being a dramatic fangirl when I say that Harry Potter saved my life. I would not have got through that summer if it weren’t for this book. I wouldn’t. I read it over and over, it was the only book I could face looking at for weeks and Helen and I spent so many hours trying to come up with Dumbledore’s not dead theories. I feel weird about it now, when I’m doing a re-read and get to HBP, I get a knot in my tummy. It’s a weird mixture of comfort and pain that I never quite know how to deal with. OH GOD I AM SO DISMAL I APOLOGISE.

I woke up one morning to a barrage – I’m not even exaggerating here, an actual barrage - of texts off Jen about Rosamund Lupton’s Sister. She was all I KNOW IT’S THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT JO BUT THIS BOOK. So I read it, because that’s what I do when Jen recs a book, I find it and I read it. I couldn’t put it down. I read it in one sitting. It’s always a book that makes me think of that – of waking up that morning and wondering what the hell had happened, I swear, I thought something had happened that was bad times because so many of the text messages. Ha.

You know when sometimes you discover a book that makes you forget how to breathe? That sucks the air from your lungs and leaves you gasping, hands curled into fists, wondering how life will ever be the same again? I read If Nobody Speaks of Remarkable Things when my boyfriend was drag racing one weekend in Stratford. 2012 I think. We had an old VW Camper back then, and I unfolded the bed and read this and ate skittles and was totally and completely blown away. It changed how I felt about pretty much everything and I didn't know what to do with myself because how could it be so good? I’ve been reading books like they were going out of fashion my whole life and I had no idea that it was possible to do something like this with just words. Every time I went back to the racetrack after that I’d think about this book. 


if nobody speaks of remarkable things, how can they be called remarkable?


To Kill A Mockingbord. God, I love it. Is there anyone that didn’t study it in school? It feels like one of those books that’s going to be on the curriculum for all of time. Rightly so as well. I loved English at school, it was my subject, the one where I felt like I could really be myself, where it all made sense. Let's not talk about maths and science and all the nonsense. It was all about English, all of the time. We studied TKAM for GSCE, obvs, and that time spent reading it, discussing it, writing about it, was probably the highlight of my education. My English teacher was amazing. I loved her. I still have the copy I bought for school, with all my notes in the margins, all the key paragraphs underlined in HB pencil. I’ve read it so many many times since then, so very many you don't even know and every time there’s still a part of me that feels like that fifteen year old kid in an English Lit lesson; no other two words can make my chest tighten like hey Boo. 


The Blind Assassin reminds me of the first time I lived alone, in 2001 I think, in this scummy bedsit over the top of a corner shop. God but it was awful. I only lived there a couple of months but it was long enough *shudder* I hated it, hated it. It was so horrible. It’s part of the reason I am so hung up on moviong somewhere amazing now I think: I swore I’d never live like that again. AWFUL. I read The Blind Assassin when I lived there, it was the first time probably that I read Margaret Atwood and thought but how do you even words. This book was a freaking revelation I swear to God. It’s so good. It’s my favourite of hers, still. Will always be I imagine because I can’t imagine anything else ever coming close.

I read Breakfast at Tiffany’s when I was in high school. It’s the book that instantly came to mind actually, when Jen tagged me in this, because it’s a book that instantly makes me think about my fourteen year old self, how I saw myself and how this book made me feel. I was a bit lost and a bit afraid of pretty much everything and a bit desperate to find my place when I was a teenager (I am totally not Team Teenage Years, at all. Being a teenager was a great big pile of elasticated granny pants) and I totally fell for Holly Golightly and her devil may care attitude. She was fashionable and confident and ultra cool: she would never be caged by convention in the way that I totally felt like I was, she’d never be judged for not being pretty or trendy or popular enough. Holly Golightly had zero fucks to give. She’d never waste time and tears on what other people thought of her and when everything felt like it was going to shit, I pretended I was just like Holly Golightly, Travelling. I was a little bit like ‘when I grow up I want to be…’ which, well it’s a bit crackers isn’t it, given that she had no job and was actually pretty damn lonely and probably as lost as I was – it’s interesting actually, how differently I perceive the whole book when I read it now.  Never love a wild thing. I still love that quote.




I found Richard Siken by way of the internet back in 2012, like you do, (HOW DID WE EVER BEFORE THE INTERNETS THOUGH) and got my hands on a copy of his poetry collection Crush as soon as I possibly could. I read it in bed, I think Ian must’ve been away because I was very definitely on my own. I had a cup of hot milk that went cold, forgotten about on the beside table because this book engulfed me entirely. (It went so cold it had that gross out milk skin and I was very nearly sick in my mouth.) It’s the kind of book that crawls under your skin, makes it’s self comfortable and stays there, the kind of book that hit me like a suckerpunch, right in the chest. It gave me goosebumps and it broke my heart and it moved me in a way that even now I can’t quite put into words. I kept a copy of it by my bed for a year, for a while I even carried it around in my bag because weirdly I couldn’t stand to be parted from it. It ruined me, this book, and it ruined my hot milk too.

Little Women means Christmas in a way that nothing else does. It’s more Christmas to me than my Christmas tree even. I’ve read it every Christmas since I was 8. That’s 24 years good gracious I am old. I read it for the first time on Christmas Eve, curled up on our settee. The house was all trimmed up and my Mum was playing her new Cliff Richard Christmas album – and how mental that I remember that still – and there was this amazing new book, blue and hard-backed and lovely with this character called Josephine who loved to read and write and that was it. I was sold. I’ve read it every Christmas since. Not always on Christmas Eve, as I’ve gotten older it usually coincides with trimming up, but still every damn year. I’ll still be reading it when I’m 80. Just watch me.


Between Shades of Gray was a book I read in Cornwall in the summer of 2011. The Ex-Boyfriend and I  had rented out this little beach hut-esque holiday cottage for a fortnight and it was a glorious time of sunshine and cider and coastal paths and lots of cheese. I always eat so much cheese on holiday. So much cheese and so much cider. I started read this book on the beach at St Ives and felt my heart splinter. I was in bed when I finished it, I remember turning to him and saying ‘oh, I think I’m sad’ and then just sobbing. He wondered what the hell was even happening. We could have had a caucus race I cried that much.  A SEA OF TEARS.



Have you read Jonathan Livingstone Seagull? If the answer is no, then you should. You totally should. I first read it in 2002. I say I read it; it was actually read to me. It was one of my boyfriend’s favourite books; he was a bit of a Richard Bach fanboy truth be told and when he found out I’d never even heard of the guy he looked at me in horror, dug his copy of this book out of his bedside drawer and threw it at me. Then, ‘actually’ he said, ‘this is the kind of book that needs to be read aloud’ and he did. It was winter and we lived in this tiny old cottage and the cold seemed to seep through the gaps in the brick; it never felt warm even with the heating on full. I was still so young and I thought that those days would stretch on into forever. We curled up in bed, I wore his t-shirt and his socks and I rested my head on his chest so I could feel the rumble of his voice as he spoke and he played with my hair.  We read two chapters a night and it was one of my most favourite things. That was a side of him that not many people got to see, this soft and affectionate guy that would play with my hair and read to me in bed, that would kiss me hello every time he walked in the house and sing George Benson songs to me in the car. It’s one of those memories that I treasure now he’s not here any more and this book always reminds me that he was so much more than the ‘don’t give a damn’ façade that he presented to the world, that I was one of the few that he let see him with his guard down. It’s a book that sums up for me all that he was, and all that he wanted to be, and it’s a book that will always be cold-nosed whiskey kisses and the rolling timbre of his voice and the feeling of belonging. 

So tell me: what are the books that always take you to that particular time and place?

Sarah's Book Challenge - Catch Up



Oh but I’ve been appalling at keeping up to date with all things Sarah’s Book Challenge. Absolutely awful.

You may (or may not, it’s been that long) remember me talking earlier this year about the awesome Christmas present from my pal Sarah, which was composed of a pile of envelopes – one to be opened on the first of each month and a few ICE envelopes for good measure. Each envelope contains a bookish challenge for that month. I know right, amazing gift is amazing. My plan, initially, was to blog about this challenge every month but then The Bad Thing happened and it all fell apart, all my grand plans came to naught because heartbreak. I’ve still been opening my envelope every month and I’ve still been doing the challenge I just haven’t been doing that good a job at recording any of that. That’s what this post is. A catch up of the months I’ve missed, ready to post about June’s challenge at the end of the month.

So, are you sitting comfortably because let’s be real here: this may take a while.


In March I had to choose a book with the initials JW. 

Those are my initials, if you were wondering, so not that random at all. It’s not even that hard. So many people have the initials JW. So many. Jeanette Wintersen, which would have been an amazing choice because I really really want to read Why Be Happy…., or John Wyndham (except I’m still totally scarred from Chocky) or even Jacqueline Wilson. It felt too easy though, to go for one of those, to choose somebody I hadn’t even had to think about. I figured it might be more of an actual challenge though, to choose somebody new, so, off to Waterstones in the Trafford Centre I went. I ended up going for We Live in Water by Jess Walter. It’s still on my currently reading Goodreads shelf, because I started it….and then I lost it. Seriously. I have no idea where this book is and this is a mystery to me. My house is not that big. I pretty much only ever read in bed. If I leave the house my book goes in my bag, which is not the bag of either Mary Poppins or Hermione Granger so where the fuck is this book? Who knows? Anyway, it’s a short story collection and until it got lost I was really liking it. I’m very cross about the whole situation. Let’s not talk about it.

I also opened the first ICE envelope in March because nothing says emergency more than being dumped, does it? Nosiree. The bookish cure for my broken heart was a book with a pretty cover, which HELLO YES PLEASE. I was immediately tempted by Alice Hoffman’s The Museum of Extraordinary Things which is super pretty and has a ferris wheel on the cover and is all dark shades and prettiness and sounds like everything I love in a book AND has a main character called Coralie, which coincidentally is the name of Sarah’s daughter. Coralie is as unusual a name as Josephine and so it kind of felt like a sign. I bought it. It’s on the TBR.

April was lovely, because April’s Challenge was a book bought in a second hand bookshop and so Sarah and I took the day off, headed to SilverDell Bookshop in Kirkham for coffee and cake and books. Super lush. I picked up The Bone Dragon because it’s pretty and The Ladies of Grace Adieu because it sounds amazing.

On April 30th I opened ICE2 because it was my birthday, my first as a singleton and I was moping. & the best cure for moping that I know of is books. Sarah prescribed a book by or about somebody/something that I admired. I got Richard Siken’s new poetry collection War of the Foxes because Siken. If you don’t know how much I loved his first collection, Crush, well, you can find out here, but here’s a clue: it’s a lot. & though I don’t read much of it, I do love poetry, and I have so much admiration for people who can make me feel things using so few words. Siken is like a freaking genius I swear to God, Crush affected me on so many levels (ALL THE FEELS) and yeah okay, maybe I used my ICE as a kind of excuse to buy this book but isn’t that kind of the point?


Find a book with a bronze theme Sarah said, for May, because May is her 8th wedding anniversary (bronze, she’s so clever.) And so I did. I found – and by found mean was already drooling after – the Penguin Hardback Classics edition of The Last Tycoon, which happily for me has a stunningly gorgeous bronze cover so you know, WHY WOULD I NOT. It’s so pretty and I love it. I LOVE IT. I do love me some F Scott Fitzgerald.

& that brings us to June’s challenge. Which I will come back and talk about in 3 weeks. I promise.

May Book Haul


Aaaaand it’s that time again, where I go into slight panic mode when I think about my latest book haul. Seriously though, what am I going to do because soon I’m going to move house and all of these books will need a place to live and I have no idea where that place might be.


Anyway, let’s not think about that right now (although, keep an eye peeled for my post about book nooks and bookshelves which is going to be glorious) lets just talk about the books and pretend they take up no space at all ok? Ok.
May was another fabulously bookish month. The wonderful Jen sent me a package made up of Ice Cream Star, Atwood’s Stone Mattress and Cassandra Parkin’s new novel The Beach Hut  which I am super excited about. Book post is my fave, especially when it comes from people like Jen who just know what kind of things I’m going to do a happy dance over.
In addition to those three beauties, May also meant:
In a Dark, Dark Wood by Ruth Ware (released at the end of July) because like I keep saying, 2015: the year of the thriller and this one sounds so gripping and who wouldn‘t want to read a book about a properly toxic friendship?
Ruby by Cynthia Bond which sounds like it could be breathtakingly beautiful.
Sara Gruen’s At The Water’s Edge which I’m interested to read, because whilst there were elements of Water for Elephants that made me really uneasy, I do like Gruen’s style…
A Little Life which is possibly the biggest book I ever saw oh my God. It’s not to be read in bed that’s for sure. It sounds amazing though.
A Court of Thorns and Roses which I talked about here
Ben Aaronovitch’s Rivers of London which I’ve heard mixed reviews about but which sounds pretty cool.
A super gorgeous Penguin Hardback edition of The Last Tycoon because why would I not?I'll talk more about this in my very delayed Book Challenge post later.
The Sunrise by Victoria Hislop which I can’t tell you much about, because I don’t know much about either Victoria Hislop or this book. It’s published this week I think, and is set in 1970’s Cyprus so is all about the Turkish/Greek Cypriot unrest and it sounds like it could be really interesting. Watch this space!
The new Siken collection War of the Foxes which Siken people, Siken. Another book I bought under the guise of The Book Challenge
The Silvered Heart by Katherine Clements which is set in 1648 and is about highwaywoman Katherine Ferrars. It sounds fabulous. & I do so love me some of that historical fiction that's rooted in truth. The Other Boleyn Girl anyone? Who even cares how accurate it is, it's a damn good story.

My Grandmother Sends Her Regards and Apologises is another one due for release this week I think. It’s by Fredrik Backman who also wrote A Man Called Ove and it sounds amazing. Fairytales people, fairytales. Here, have a bit of the blurb:  
Granny has been telling fairytales for as long as Elsa can remember. In the beginning they were only to make Elsa go to sleep and to get her to practise granny’s secret language, and a little because granny is just about as nutty as a granny should be. But lately the stories have another dimension aswell. Something Else can’t quite put her finger on.

and
A gorgeous paperback copy of The Bone Clocks which if you know how much I loved Cloud Atlas you’ll understand my being super thrilled about.
Ebook wise, it’s been a little calmer, which is both good and bad:

The Accident Season by Moira Fowley-Doyle

Everything, Everything by Nicola Yoon

Jesse's Girl by Miranda Kenneally

Early One Morning by Virginia Baily

Pretty Is by Maggie Mitchell

chasers of the light


A couple of years ago I stumbled upon, quite by accident, a poetry collection by Richard Siken titled 'Crush.' It shattered me into tiny pieces; it left me wondering how I ever got by before it; it made me feel so very many things. A copy of it lives by my bed. I loved it like I have never loved a poetry collection before and like I never expected to again.

And then I read 'Chasers of the Light.' 


Wow. Talk about feeling sucker-punched. This book is seriously beautiful. It amazes me, always amazes me, when people can use so few words to make me feel so much and this book made me feel SO MUCH.
I knew I would love it if I'm honest; it wasn't quite as out of the blue as my love affair with Siken. I'm familiar with Tyler Knott Gregson's work 'from the Internet' - I check his tumblr regularly and follow him on Pinterest. I have one of his poems pinned on the wall by my desk; this was always going to be my kind of book. I did not expect it to make my breath catch.


That's the one actually, that I printed out. I love it. I love it so much that I am very very tempted to order a signed copy of it from Tyler before signed copies is a thing he stops doing. I would love it framed on my bedroom wall, but anyway, that's another story. The thing is, that everything about this book speaks to me. The whole premise is glorious: Tyler came across an old Remington typewriter in an antique shop one day and right there onto the pages of a second-hand book he was buying, he typed a poem. Jesus. Right in the feels. 

The poems in what is known as 'The Typewriter Series' that make up the bulk of this book are stunning in their simplicity. 
Every word is carefully placed for maximum effect and I swear to you this book made my heart hurt, it made my breath catch, it made me feel like I wanted to cry because these poems are raw and beautiful and honest and they feel so  familiar. These are things that I have felt and these are words that speak to me; that feel weirdly like they are 'for' me. 

I don't know if Tyler Knott Gregson bared his soul writing these poems but I feel like he has bared mine.


Also it's really really pretty. Really pretty.