Review: The Girl Aquarium

Review: We Come Apart

I read three books over Easter weekend. Three. I cannot remember the last time I read three books in one weekend and actually I’m not entirely sure how I managed it this particular weekend because man, I did a lot of things over Easter. So many of the things, roadtrips and walks and food and drink and family visits and fun on the park and somehow in amongst all of that I still squeezed in three whole books.

Clearly reading is my superpower and WHY DO I NOT HAVE THAT ON A TSHIRT ALREADY? Next stop: Redbubble.

Soooooooooo. This post was going to be a bookish catch up post because that seemed to make the most sense to me right now except that when I sat down and started talking about We Come Apart I realised I had quite a bit to say and that if I had the same amount to say about the other two than this post would be wordy. So I’m not going to talk about them all right now other than to say that all three of these books were good books and I have things to say about them all.

Consider the Hairpin Turn

-You are Jeff, Richard Siken

 I don't read a lot of poetry.  I read some, but not a lot. I should probably read more. The stuff I do read is ususally thrown at me by Jen with a 'JO YOU HAVE TO READ THIS' and I do read it and usually I love it and think 'hmmm, I should read more of this,' but then I don't because I'm never quite sure I understand much about poetry other than that it's pretty. And maybe that's the problem; maybe I need to accept that I can love poetry just because it's pretty and I don't need to try and understand it on a more intellectual level because isn't that the point, really, to draw pleasure from the words you read?????

Anyway.

The point is that most of the poetry I read is recommended to me, but, I've stumbled across a collection all by my own self [proud Mama moment for you there, Campbell. ha.]
It's by Richard Siken, it's called Crush, it won the 2004 Yale Series of Younger Poets competition and I am in serious serious book love, and not just because it's pretty.
It is pretty, so much so that it hurts, just there just right, but it's also just really incredible. I'm not going to try and give some kind of wonderfully eloquent review because like I said, I don't know much about poetry other than I like how it makes me feel. I just, I liked this book and it made me want to write that down, for posterity: in May 2012 Jo liked this book.

The foreword says that this is a book about panic. I'm not going to argue with that, after all, what do I know and to be honest I kind of understand the sentiment but, for me at least, it's more than that; it's a book about love, I think. Deep love, real love, painful love, unrequited love and requited love, love that hurts in the way that love does and it's beautiful and raw and it just gets under your skin and stays there. And it makes you think.It's the kind of book that just gets you, right in the chest, something that has happened to me before with prose but never I don't think, with poetry. The emotion in some of these poems is palpable and I kept going back, reading and re-reading, making notes of parts that I wanted to quote and then I got to the end and realised I might aswell just type out the whole book and so maybe just maybe I am a poetry girl after all.

This book gave me goosebumps, from the opening poem 'Scherazade' 
 ['...how we rolled up the carpet so we could dance, and the days were bright red, and every time we kissed there was another apple to slice into pieces.']
through pieces like 'Saying Your Names' and 'Wishbone' and 'Boot Theory', and the 'Snow and Dirty Rain' and through the whole first stanza of 'A Primer for the Small Weird Loves'
['...you know how to ride a dirt bike, and you know how to do long division, and you know that a boy who likes boys is a dead boy, unless he keeps his mouth shut...']
it gave me goosebumps and it made me think and it made me feel and if you do nothing else this week, this month, this year then read this book, just, find a copy if only so you can read the wonderfully wonderful 'You are Jeff'  [see above] and then tell me it doesn't move you in a way you can't explain.


Do it, because you might never hear me talk about poetry this way again.

And that is all from me, for now. I leave you with this, from 'Wishbone' which is one of my favourites, I think.


You don’t, I say, you don’t owe me squat, let’s just get going, let’s just
               get gone, but he’s relentless,
keeps saying I owe you, says Your shoes are filling with your own
damn blood, you must want something, just tell me, and it’s yours.
               But I can’t look at him, can hardly speak,
I took the bullet for all the wrong reasons, I’d just as soon kill you myself,  I say.

in which i remember i have a blog

Oh dear. I have really very much failed at updating this thing. I am a very bad blogger. I must to better.

So, a potted catch up:

Did ok on the OU poetry TMA. Ok, so it was my worst mark of the course so far, but I am rationalising it by telling myself that as I'd never really written poetry before I did ok. And I've been scribblinbg bits of things since. I shall some out and post it in the next few days.

Also had the life-writing TMA. I wrote about my friend Kez, and her little girl Jenna who has Apert's Syndrome. Results came back for that over the weekend. Again, I did ok. I still haven't bettered the mark I got for that first assignment, but this was the first mark since. I am frustrated though, as I wonder a little whether I am missing the point, or whether maybe my tutor just doesn't get me. Don't get me wrong, she gives me some great (and extremely useful) feedback, and it's not that I can't handle critcism; I value the negative feedback more than the positive almost, but, when she makes suggestions such as 'why don't you add a little bit more about yourself in there, make it personal, make it about you a little more....' and then when marking tells me the one section of the piece I should cut is the one section in which I do just that (which I only bloody put in there under her suggestion!) I can't help but feel a little bit frustrated. Hey ho. I did ok, and most of what she said made sense, so *shrugs*

TMA05 is due in two weeks. I have a piece part written that I think I will submit, and I have been researching magazines that I could potentially submit too, so watch this space. The TMA is all about publication, so, we have to write a piece of poetry or prose, choose a magazine we'd like to submit it too, submit our work according to said magazine guildines, and write a bit about our choice of publication. Sounds fun. I have been looking at/hope to look at Pen Pusher, Ambit, Agenda, Mslexia, Litro, Notes on the Underground, Tears in the Fence, Markings, The North, Flash, The Warwick Review, The Edinburgh Review, The Fringe, Poetry London, The PN Review, Caketrain, Harvard Review, Granta, Anon, The Rialto, Spilt Milk Mag, Short Fiction, Iota, Popshot, Shearsman on the recommendation of the lovely Jen Campbell.

Once the course is done and dusted, I shall come back and post a couple of assignment pieces for those of you who might still be reading.

in which i actually write some poetry type stuff

Maybe it's ok after all. Fair enough it's hard, so much harder than the prose work but I'm actually enjoying the challenge. I don't think what I'm producing is particuarly good, but I'm persevering, and I already have a piece that is being edited and re-edited and will hopefully, finally, be submitted as my assignment! I'm not going to show you that though. Oh no, s'for my eyes only!!

I will show you this though: a little piece developed from one of the course exercises, that asked us to make a list of proverbial expressions used by friends/family/colleagues and list them as a poem.

I’m not being funny but it’s
just not fair and
don’t tell me it’s not raining.
It’s raining in my head.
You’re ruining my life and I don’t
really care about crumbling cookies.

Funny how hindsight really is
20/20 vision. It’s obvious now:
My best interests nestled
in your heart. Watching out for your little acorn,
you hoped to see a great oak grow.
I didn’t put all my eggs in one basket, I
made my hay dressed in shorts, so when you ask
me if the proof is in the pudding,
you’re taking the words right out
of my mouth.
All’s well that ends well.

It is by no means great. I know this. But it does resemble a poem, kind of. & I wrote it. This is an improvement on prior attempts, believe me!!!

in which i freak out about the OU

It's bad. It's actually really bad. So bad that I am wondering why the hell I signed up for the stupid course in the first place.
That's right guys and dolls. It's poetry time. I can't do it. The end. I just really can't. It doesn't help that I'm struggling at the moment to find the time to do the exercises - maybe I'll feel better tomorrow when I've sat down and worked through it all some more but at the moment I have a deadline for a 40line poetry assignment looming and I just want to cry. I have no inspiration, and it's all just really technical and gah. I want to cry. I need to take a deep breath, and count to ten and get on with it, I know, but it's stumped me. I've been loving it up to now: the prose side has been awesome, I'm quietly confident about getting the mark for the last assignment and it's al lbeen good and now this. If I fail this course it will be because of the next few weeks. Oh, help.

in which i submit my first ever OU assignment...

Well, it's finally happening. I am a student, proper and yesterday, I submitted my first TMA. It wasn't due til the 30th, but, I was in danger of over editing and so I decided to just go for it. I hit the 'send' button, and that's it. No turning back.
I am so nervous. Seriously. I have no idea if it's any good, no idea really what they expect and I am just terrified that my tutor will hate it and my mark will be embarrasingly low. There's not a lot I can do but wait and see.
It was a good assignment actually: a short freewrite inspired by a given prompt, a fiction piece inspired by your freewrite, and then a commentary on both. I enjoyed it. I'm enjoying the course as a whole, and have even been brave enough to post a few of my exercises on the course forum - thankfully my public feedback wasn't awful - it was even rather good. Phew.

Poetry next. I shall be making headway with that over the weekend and I am trying to embrace the challenge rather than be petrified! Doesn't help that I've never written much and all the people I know that write poetry do it incredibly well. Campbell, that means you!

in which i get excited about the OU

It seems I have failed lately with the whole blog thing. Real life has gotten in the way and holidays and work have left me with little time to update. However, I am back on it, and have much to talk about such as Margaret Atwood and the Shopaholic books, and my new found love for Neil Gaiman...til then though, the OU.

The stuff for my creative writing course came through at the end of last week, and it looks very exciting! So much so, that I am tempted to start before the 'official' start date of beginning of October. It won't matter will it, and it's not like this blog is widely read enough for me to get caught ;)

All the course material looks great, and there are some fun looking excercises in the big fat workbook, so, with any luck (mine and not yours) I will soon be posting lots of new stuff on here. I've also taken a sneaky peek at the TMA's - the course is assessed on 5 TMA's and one final assignments. They look awesome. I am excited about them all with exception to the poetry one, and really can't wait to get started on the first one - due October 30th. The poetry I am dreading. Really. I don't write poetry, never have and whilst I know that's the point of the course; to learn, I have to admit to being a little dubious. How can I learn enough in a month to be able to write 40lines of poetry to a standard required to get the marks? *panic*
We'll soon see I guess. But yes, all very exciting!!!

In other news we have mice. I am refusing to leave the office and despatched folk to try and find a humane way of removing them. *shudder*